What a thrill to interview author and journalist Allison Gilbert, who met with Dr. Ruth Westheimer, of blessed memory, every week for a year during what would be the last year of Dr. Ruth’s life. Together they worked on Dr. Ruth’s final book, The Joy of Connections: 100 Ways to Beat Loneliness and Live a Happier and More Meaningful Life.
Dr. Ruth was determined to help people suffering from loneliness and dysfunctional friendships, and I believe this book accomplishes that task. We just need everyone to read it! I underlined parts of every chapter and folded over MANY pages because I adore Dr. Ruth’s straightforward, solution-oriented advice.
For this episode, I forced myself to choose, what in my opinion, are the top 8 no-nonsense Dr. Ruth friendship nuggets of pure wisdom I’m certain will help you with your friendships the most. They’re already helping me since finishing the book and recording this episode with Allison, who so beautifully represents and embodies Dr. Ruth’s words.
FIND EPISODE #116 on Apple, Spotify, YouTube, or anywhere else you get your podcasts.
MEET ALLISON GILBERT:
Allison Gilbert is an Emmy Award-winning journalist and author. She is co-author of The Joy of Connections: 100 Ways to Beat Loneliness and Live a Happier and More Meaningful Life with world-renowned therapist Dr. Ruth Westheimer. Find Allison on Instagram, Facebook, and X.
The two NYT articles mentioned in the episode:
“Dr. Ruth Saved People’s Sex Lives. Now She Wants to Cure Loneliness.” by Allison Gilbert, November 2023
“Long After ‘Sexually Speaking,’ Dr. Ruth Taught Me About Friendship” by Allison Gilbert, July 2024
The top 8 no-nonsense friendship tips from Dr. Ruth that Allison and I covered in much more detail in the episode:
- Push through rejection. (Also, be honest with yourself about your interests.)
- Be curious about people. (Also, offer information. Don’t stand on ceremony waiting for people to ask. To quote Allison, “Leave breadcrumbs in the conversation.”)
- Communicate your needs.
- Admit your mistakes.
- Don’t judge a book by its cover, be less judgmental, and give more chances.
- Lose count! (“Don’t keep a ledger.”) And my personal plea in many episodes–reframe what reciprocity looks like in reality.
- Broaden your definition of friendship.
- Make yourself more friendly. (And be more generous, if you can.)
All transcripts are available on the main Buzzsprout “Dear Nina” site. Click on any episode and find the transcript tab.
Let’s connect over all things friendship!
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Nina Badzin hosts the podcast Dear Nina: Conversations About Friendship. She’s been writing about friendship since 2014, co-leads the writing groups at ModernWell in Minneapolis, and reviews 30+ books a year on her website.
